Next to ice cold water, Velcro, a comfortable colonoscopy, and lint rollers, the one thing I am most thankful for is: an editor.
From this writer’s perspective, once my stories are published, they are beautiful to look at. Commas are in place, run-on sentences are non-existent, metaphors make sense, and I look like a pro.
So, just how much collateral damage does an editor clean up? Or, to put it more bluntly, just how disastrous do I write?
Ladies & Gentlemen, I give to you an unedited manuscript. This one, a short horror story, might read like this…
The Day Giant Trolls Ate The Erath
Saliva coated New York City like a blanket of contemptuous vile dog drool that was neither warm nor cold but was bubbily boiling like a pot of overheated rotten death. And that was like all from the mouths of 500,000,000 giant trolls!!!!!
Once 1 troll said, “Attack and eat the Esrth!!!!!!” Then they dug theyre angry teeth into the Erath and just swalowed the dirt like a lot. So the saliva meltted New york City just like witch vomit would!!!! No one could just run away cuz they were like so meltted!!!! And when Chicago, and London and Japan and huge other cities in the whole world got eaten it was just so totally like the worst EVER thing!!jj!!!
And time was gone at the strike off the full moon in the north. Eatrh was know more. And all that was left beneeth the feet of 500,000,000 trolls was like just so much dark space that that 1 troll screemed “Now lets eat the unaverse!!!!!”
See what I mean!?
Copyright Ros Hill 2016